R.S.V.P. to Our Climate-Change Summit!


Hey, neighbor! Lizzie and I are throwing a climate-change summit for everyone on the block, and we’d love to see you there.

Balloons!

A Pool!

Keeping Warming to 1.5 Degrees Above Pre-Industrial Levels!

Fun!

We saw how popular climate-change summits were becoming, and we thought, There’s no reason we can’t have one in our very own back yard. Besides, who doesn’t love a themed party? We’ll have a grill for the dads, a sandbox for the kids, and more than enough disaster projections to go around! If that’s not enticing enough, Lizzie’s also making her famous potato salad.

Apple bobbing, potato-sack races, and a coal-phase-out pact are all on the agenda, but, as always, they are entirely optional. In one corner, we’ll have a pizza oven and topping station. In another, climate czar and 2004 Democratic Presidential nominee John Kerry will be talking about industrial-emissions standards. The toppings are limited, so come fast! John Kerry, however, assured us that he’s free to hang for the entirety of the event.

If you want any drinks, we’re B.Y.O.B., and, if you want to make a pledge to reduce factory emissions, we’re B.Y.O.P. But, if you don’t fulfill the pledge, seriously, don’t worry about it. The only mandatory resolution is that you just have to try Lizzie’s potato salad—it’s divine! But, seriously, pop in whenever, make a few statements in favor of global methane regulation, get a burger, attend our biofuel symposium, and relax. Now that’s making a difference! We’ll also have a bounce house powered by John Kerry on a stationary bicycle. (It was his idea.)

Bottom line: Time is running out to act.

Please let us know A.S.A.P. if you can make it!

One final note: could someone volunteer to bring a vegetable dish? It is a nonbinding commitment, and we have no enforcement mechanisms, but we really, really need someone to step up and be a leader here. Plenty of you have expressed sincere commitment to a vegetable dish by 2050, and that’s admirable, but it’s obvious that we’ll need concrete action much sooner than that. (The summit is next Wednesday.) It may not be the popular or easy thing to do, but we’re all in this together. After all, if we can’t even get a vegetable dish, what’s the point of a summit?

It will have to be anyone but us, because Lizzie’s already making the potato salad. ♦



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